Jack Attack - Birth of a Child told by a father.

12:30ish AM - Wake up you sleepy head, your wife is having contractions!! (I know it's only 12:30 but I am usually in bed by 10:30 -11 and asleep by 11:30!) "Call the Doctor!" I said half awake and still wondering if I had actually slept at all "see what she says."

12:40ish AM - Doctor (Mid-wife technically) has been called and we are on stand by. Literally as soon as Carrie got off the phone her water broke. Let it be noted they had to break her water at the hospital with Evie. Jack my Boy, you are seriously doing it your way.

12:45 AM - With a pot of coffee brewing I decided to get the Birthing Blog going!! In an attempt to treat both children equally right from the get go, I must stay as up-to-date with this blog as I did with Evie. Anymore, then I favor the male (but who wouldn't right?) any less and I favor the female (which would further show my favoritism towards the first-born!).

12:59 AM - Carrie is in the Shower and I'm bored. Mom's are on there way down from Midland and contractions are still coming. This is the real deal. Time for some MW2.

1:10 AM - Update from Mom's (Grandmas really) they are on the way! Carrie is out of shower and the PS3 is fired up! PSN ID Mortis011. Destiny is calling!

1:13 AM - MW2 got trumped by My Sisters Keeper... Thanks Netflix!

1:20 AM - My Sister's Keeper is off. Olympics are on and contractions are good and strong. Glad to be a Male.

2:20ish AM - Carrie made the call. The grandmas were still on there way but that wasn't stopping the contractions!! We grabbed what we needed (this included waking a sleeping little girl) and got in the car. GPS set to UofM Hospital and away we went!

3:00ish AM - I think this is about when we were admitted. The Grandmas were still trying to get here and everyone and their buddy were having trouble getting an IV into Carrie. Apparently the first one "blew" because it "rolled over". These highly sophisticated medical terms were beyond my brain capacity, all I saw was blood and moving over to the next arm. Meanwhile, Evie was with us through Triage and into the delivery room, or again the highly medical term for the room, nesting room. The mid-wife got us some graham crackers and good thing, I was starving!

3:30ish AM - Grandma's arrive after going through twist and turns, in and out of garages, hitting up multiple gas stations. Carrie was now numb from the waist down (she decided while we were still at home that she was getting an epidural) and everyone was in good spirits. I took my mom back to our apartment with Evie, while Shelly and Carrie (obviously) stayed at the hospital.

4- 5 AM - I get my mom and Evie back to the apartment and get Evie back into bed. She took a while to get back to sleep but she was a REALLY good girl. I tell my mom what to do and show her the chicken scratch list that my handwriting produced. I leave to return to hospital. (At this point I have no idea what happens with Carrie but this is all from a Father's perspective so if you want Carrie updates check her blog... oh wait, you can't) On the way back I realize I'm not going to make it through the rest of the night, er um, morning? So I get an energy drink to keep my slowing body going.

5:30 ish AM - I get to the hospital and park at a different garage because the garage I parked at before requires a pregnant woman to enter. Since I was fresh out of those, I decided to park at Parking A, knowing I could get to the room from there. Also, being the genius that I am I took the elevator to the 4th floor knowing that's what floor Carrie's room was on. What to my wondering eyes did I see when I exited that elevator door... well it was the top floor of the garage! There I was staring at the dark Ann Arbor sky in 20 degree temperatures wondering what I've gotten myself into. I quickly call Shelly and she explains that I must enter through the second floor. Okay.

When I get out of the elevator there is a security desk and a sign that says "All visitors MUST check-in after 9PM"... Now does that mean 9 PM today or yesterday? Because I viewed it as both being that it was almost 6 AM today... Well there was a girl opening coffee shop so I asked her "Is there supposed to be someone here to check me in?" Her response " Yeah, but there isn't usually someone there." Okay... so I just told her I know where I'm going and took off. She didn't seem to care and I took offense to that.

5:45 AM - I enter the room expecting to see people buzzing and things happening. Nope, it's dark and a few mommy tears. I got caught up on what had happened (which was nothing) and told them I was ready with my energy drink in hand. Shelly said she'd leave us alone and that we should get some rest (Someone should have told me this BEFORE I got the drink...).

6:00 AM - I sit down to finally update the blog. Carrie talks to me about some things but she is slowly getting drowsy. She checks out the menu and notices that they require "parental supervision for children under 5 if they are consuming a hot dog". She asks me to check her blood pressure (some black digital numbers against a green background) and tells me that if things start beeping I'll have to take care of it. She's slightly confused about that one, I'm not getting paid to be here, the nurses are. I'm in charge of the iPod. (if you get that reference you rule!)

6:18 AM - Finished updating blog, getting drowsy. Energy Drink is failing... no surprise. Uh Oh, something is beeping...

8:01 AM - I am awakened by womens' voices... They are talking pregnancy stuff. I hear things like "5 cm and we'll give it 3 hours. Everything is going great and get some rest." This is what I don't hear... "ALL HANDS ON!! BABY COMING!!" or "DAMN IT JIM I'M A DOCTOR!" or "Da da da, da da daaaa.... You're watching Sportscenter"...

8:44 AM - Some nurse enters and I hear some bleeps and bloops. She is quiet, like a Ninja but I can see her and hear her, so not a very good Ninja. She asks Carrie if she wants to flip sides. Carrie says no. Nurse says "I like to do flips and flops. They are good." Carrie says she knows but doesn't feel like moving at the moment. I think Ninja Nurse just met her match.

8:50 AM - Shelly (Carrie's Mom in case you didn't know) just entered the dark nesting room. She was sleeping in the lounge on a couch. She looked comfortable and homeless. Carrie suggested we go get some breakfast, I think Denny's is now offering a free Grand Slam breakfast on your birthday. If Jack were here I'd take him and get him one. I guess we're going to have to settle for the cafeteria food. Let's hope it's better than UofM's football team... somehow I doubt it.

8:58 AM - Carrie just compared getting an epidural to getting a shot in the mouth. I won't tell her out loud now, but she's wrong. While both allow body parts to go numb, I can still pee on my own when getting a shot in the mouth.

9:00 AM - This was awesome. Carrie just hit a button and told some lady (assumed nurse) that she needs Ninja Nurse (not her words, mine) to come in and flip her. I was like "OOOHHH!!! NO SHE DIDN'T" in my head. This is tense and I'm not leaving until Ninja Nurse completes the flip. I think we all know who is calling the shots here.

9:05 AM - This is going down like Rocky vs Mr. T. Carrie so flipped herself before the nurse came in. Ninja Nurse walks in... "What did you flip yourself right after I left?" Carrie "No, I just did it. I woke up some more and realized I should" Ninja Nurse "So you realized I was right?" Carrie "Yes" but then here is the real kicker... Carrie then told her she needed to change her sheets!! I mean this is back and forth. The nurse sprayed some bottle everywhere... I have no idea what is actually going on beyond my computer screen and i'm not sure I or you want to know. Ninja Nurse (NN) just made a Michigan difference joke, I'm not impressed.

Apparently NN is a big Pad Changer... this is getting weird and I'm not sure if I should actually be listening or relaying some of this information. I've been handed a Coca-Cola classic from Shelly. Score! NN likes to "spray the whole bottle" What is in this bottle? Water? I don't ask and just sit in the corner silently recording the events that are taking place in the room. NN doesn't have kids.... NN is annoying me but does provide some entertainment and is a source of things to blog about.

9:16 AM - Shelly makes a joke "Better watch out for nurses and their scissors, they may just cut your clothes off." I laugh, NN doesn't laugh. Carrie and Shelly just said they like NN and that she is a day nurse. The only thing that says to me is that she's not a Vampire.

9:22 AM - I just realized what I don't like about NN... she is a self promoter. She often says things like "I'm awesome" and "See, I rule!" and "You didn't even need to tell me but I did it anyway." Carrie just got some ice and she is chewing on it now and reading the Menu again. Contractions are at 5-6 minutes apart but nobody really knows what's going on, it's all a guessing game at this hospital.

9:44 AM - CONFIRMED - He's a soccer player and I quote "He's kicking me!" NN IS BACK! We are back on the flip and flopping conversation... NN just said "You need to follow my suggestions, they are really good." I'm pretty sure there is a trophy in the Nurses lounge with NN on top of it. More self promoting going on... ha ha, she has to change the pee cup. She just said that pee looks like beer... Yeah, cheap American Beer... There is a conversation about cup sizes... HOLY SMOKES THAT WAS A LOT OF PEE!! Going to find batteries for Shelly's camera. Might be a bit before an update.

10:23 AM - Back from UH Cafe. Wasn't really that hungry but Carrie wanted me to get something to eat. We took the long way getting there but the short way getting back. On the short way back as I clicked the up button on the elevator, I hear from behind "You two have badges!" Oh crap, they finally caught up to me. As mentioned before, the security person was not there when I first came in. I was badgeless and Shelly had one with no picture ID. BUSTED! I felt like I got an instant 4 stars in GTA and the cops were right behind the corner. No chance. So as the woman was processing us she looks at me and says, with a straight face "You should get a picture ID that doesn't make you look like your 12". WHAT?! My response "Maybe you should get an attitude that doesn't make you a ...." (Fill in the Blank) Yeah that went well, I had to duck and roll behind the nearest wheel chair to avoid the pen flying at my head. Security was on me in a flash (including Ninja Nurse, even though I had a bag over my head I knew it was her because she said "I knew he was trouble, if you only listened to me. I rule!") and that was the end of my stay at UofM hospital.

Alright back to reality, my response - "I'll take that as a compliment." but really inside I died just a little and an angel lost its wings. So I now have a blue badge that says Parent with a picture of a 12 year old on it.

10:46 AM - Things are quite boring at the moment. If I were to type only reality you would be seeing updates like this. "A nurse in light blue scrubs walks in with a knock. Greetings are said and she begins checking the monitors to see how contractions are coming along. She makes sure Carrie is comfortable and suggests moving on to her other side. Some pleasantries are had and the nurse leaves to check on another patient." I could then copy and paste this statement every hour with minor changes until things pick up.

10:52 AM - I just went to release some fluids... nothing's changed. Tiger Woods is about to make his apology speech. I may start blogging about that while things are slow here.

11:00 AM - Mid-wife is in and doing a check. Awaiting results while monitoring the Tiger Woods situation...

11:02 AM - She is still at 5 cm and the mid-wife (MW) is suggesting pitocin to get things moving again. NN is trying to steal the show with a few "silly" hiccups but I see right through her. I like MW, she seems really cool and nice. I'm glad. Jack needs to enter this world with a happy feeling in the room. Not a Self-promoting one that NN brings to the table. NN just shot something into a trashcan and gave herself a high five. I'm not impressed. I've seen Evie make shots from farther away and she's 14 months old... plus it was more of a bank shot and she didn't call it.

11:09 AM - Shelly is talking about her trip to Greece and NN just tried to one up her by saying she's going to Paris and Spain and Morocco and something about Ca-sa-blanca. I'm not kidding this Nurse is annoying the crap out of me. But Carrie and Shelly seem to like her...

11:16 AM - I caught the end of the Tiger Woods conference... he was hugging a bunch of people... most of them women. Not a good start Tiger... In completely unrelated news, Jack is still inside Carrie.

11:27 AM - NN just brought in a GIANT EGG! Not kidding, it's a ball shaped like an egg and it says in shadow letters "EGG". However, nothing is happening with the egg, she just put it on a tray where Jack will go when he is out. Carrie is feeling a little light headed but NN says she looks fine. Looks aren't feelings dummy. Now she is telling Carrie that she was contracting even though the monitor said she wasn't. There is an exchange of words... Basically it is NN saying she is right and knows whats going on. I think she is watching Jeopardy re-runs for her information. Coming soon a picture!

11:37 AM This was done with her permission














11:45 AM - Yawn. Checked in on Evie a little while ago. She is doing great with Grandma Baldwin! Carrie is still not on pitocin, her contractions picked up again so they are holding off. I'm ready for a nap, this is exhausting.

12:25 PM - I just woke up both hands are numb because they fell asleep. Heather, the MW, is here and still no pitocin. We (I say this like I am doing something but really I'm half awake) are going to check her in an hour to see if she has progressed past 5 cm with all of these natural contractions. NN is also still in the room and I want her to leave. Life was better when she wasn't here and I was asleep. NN just admitted she wasn't nice!! I did not laugh, she did. I think I've proved my point with her.

12:36 PM - We are all sharing how long it took to push out our first child. I didn't do any pushing so I'm staying out of this conversation. Shelly got me another Coke. I think I'm going to sign a contract with them after this for all this free promotion. Coke, not only at the Olympic games but also in the delivery room. Also, I thought I'd update the room. It's still dim/dark. Makes it easy to sleep. There is a TV but Carrie doesn't want it on. That's okay because its not widescreen or HD TV. C'mon UofM get with the TIMES!!

12:43 PM - I have now been blogging for 12 hours. This is hard stuff. Hope all you readers out there are still enjoying the updates. =)

12:57 PM - The Great EGG!















1:03 PM - Carrie says, "I'm good, just ready for things... to ... so I can push him out. I still have to do the hard part. Well, it won't be that hard." the blood pressue alarm is going off and we need a Nurse to come in and silence it. It's good to know that if your body actually starts failing that they rush in on their own...

1:09 PM - There is some confusion around the Egg... It is a birthing ball. I'm not sure why it is here because Carrie can't move, aside from flip flopping. Personally I want to crack it. I guess there are a lot of babies that want to get born today because the hospital is apparently really busy. I've been in one room most of the day so I don't see these other pregos but I guess they are here.

1:15 PM - NN has been in the room for about 5 minutes and that's 5 minutes too long. I don't think anybody else in the room realizes how much I do not like her. I really want a new character to add to this blog because I'm tired of writing about her. Carrie has pitocin now so we will see if things start picking up. I'm going for a quick walk...

1:24 PM - Something really exciting happened on my walk, my right shoe lace became untied. Don't worry, I was able to tie it successfully! Carrie is getting .5 cc's of pitocin per hour... they are laughing at how little that is. I hate medical jokes.

1:30 PM - On the wall in the room there is a folder bin hanging that says "While you're here.... Look at what we have to offer!" Then bin is empty. HEATHER IS HERE! YAY!! She is like the White Ninja and NN is the black Ninja. Luke Skywalker vs Darth Vader. Gandolf the White VS Sarumon! Light vs Dark! Carrie is at 6 cm.

1:43 PM - For all you noobs out there, 10-11 cm is considered transition labor which means Jack is on his way. MW thinks we should be getting about a cm an hour but obviously it's not going that fast. It's okay, I forgive her. Carrie is having a bit more discomfort but that can be good or bad I guess. I'm having some discomfort in my bladder.

1:58 PM - Carrie's Hair is silky smooth and we just turned on a light near the door. It's still kinda dark. NN just walked in with a slight skip, I want her to trip. There is a window behind my seat but the blinds have been shut the whole time and now we know why... the window opens up to a steel wall. In the words of Carrie "That is kind of depressing" I went over and finally touched the Egg... yep its a ball. Carrie and NN are making jokes with each other. Shelly just walked in with stuff she stole from a bin in the lounge. Baby legs, a baby hat and a little sleeper. (She didn't steal it the bin says take them for free)

2:15 PM - Tools of the trade:
Contractionmaster.com - You can become a fan of it on Facebook. By using this nifty site you can time your contractions and the time between them! Want to know what it's like to be in labor? Head over to contractionmaster and find out for yourself!

Ice Cubes - Eat these to annoy others around you and keep yourself busy.

2:21 PM - Room service just dropped off some broth and Jello. Carrie can feel her contractions (vaguely) right now and they seem to be moving along! Alright!

2:35 PM - The broth and Jello did NOT stay in Carrie's stomach. Oh well... I think we may have a baby in the next 2-3 hours. But that's just my expert opinion. This whole thing is really draining but I'm staying strong! Carrie just popped her epidural line and was yelling "Help! Help!" In a flash (by flash I mean really slowly) Ninja Nurse fixed it. Good News! NN is leaving at 3 pm!! And we are getting a new nurse.

2:40 PM - Something just started flashing and beeping really loud and fast, it got my adrenaline going and everyone else is calm. I'm staying calm too, on the outside. I guess everything is fine but I'm a bit shaken. Or maybe that is the caffeine wearing off.

2:58 PM - Apparently one woman came in just before Carrie this morning and she already delivered her baby next door. Now someone else (a woman as well) is in that room and she is about to have her baby. JACK WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

3:06 PM - I just made two comments to which nobody (in the room) said anything. Guys - in the delivery room YOU DON'T MATTER!! I could have said I just won the lottery and nobody would have heard it.

3:23 PM - The lights are all off and Carrie is getting some sleep... she is still at 6 cm and everyone is getting tired and hungry. I'm tired as well so there may not be an update for a while.

4:09 PM - I just went and got some food. We have a screamer next door. She is yelling away like its going to make the pain feel better. Carrie met the new nurse and said she is nice. We'll see. I had a turkey with Cranberry sandwich on Ciabatta bread. Delicious. I am also sipping a cool Brisk and there are some Dove chocolates in my pocket. Carrie and Shelly are both sleeping (trying to at least) right now and I moved a chair across the room so I didn't have to move the computer. I'm going to find a game online to help pass the time because things are slow right now and the waiting room is packed.

4:30 PM - Wow, this is really taking a LONG time. So much for the 2nd one taking half as long... geesh! Sorry folks but I'm just plain out running out of things to talk about. I talked to my Mom before I got some food and Evie appears to be doing just fine without us.

5:02 PM - Carrie is feeling some pressure. This is good. May not be much longer now!

5:30 PM - This just in... Someone I know (Courtney Seeley) knows Ninja Nurse. Now, let's just recap things real quick. I was a little over the top with my description of her and half awake most of the time. I'm running on about 5 or so hours of sleep and Carrie and Shelly both liked her. Towards the end she got better but again just not my cup of tea and she gave me something to rant about. Ninja Nurse, if you ever read this blog. It was nothing personal and if anything, you owe me for giving you the coolest nickname ever.

5:43 PM - Carrie is feeling fatigued and the hospital is still packed. They are moving people up to the 7th floor after birth. Normally they keep you in the same room (that is just what they normally do here) but it looks like we may be moving once Jack decides to come out. COME ON BUDDY!!

5:52 PM - The MW just admitted to wanting to taste the gravel in her driveway post-pardom. In fact she did and now knows what it tastes like. This was brought about by all the ice Carrie has been chewing. MW is cool!

6:00 PM - Things are picking up... we are getting a reading...OH MAN! OH MAN! 9+ cm!! It's just around the corner now!! Oh man!! this is exciting!! I need to get into position. Up at the top and away from the action!! OH MAN!!

6:09 PM - I am strangely very anxious. I normally have ice running through my veins but some reason I'm really antsy. Maybe it's because I know what is going to happen. There is a lot less commotion this time though. It's just me, Carrie, Shelly and the MW. Last time there were like 5 nurses two doctors and the rest of us.... OH man. I'm just sitting in the corner waiting!!

6:32 PM - Nothing much to report. Carrie is coming along and starting to push a little bit but not much. Things could kick into high gear at a moment's notice!

6:36 PM - For some reason Shakira's "Hips Don't Lie" just popped into my head.

6:40 PM - I specifically remember being told there were going to be Laser lights! Where are the laser lights?!?!

6:41 PM - Carrie just threw a Pillow!! I think she was aiming for me but it fell just short. I'm not even saying anything!

6:48 PM - Carrie just had a really good push! Everyone is really happy with that! I'm just sitting in the corner silently.

6:53 PM - Not long now!!

6:57 PM - MW just said it is basically time for him to come out!

7:01 PM - JACK IS HERE!!!

7:21 PM - Jack is 7 lbs 13 oz!!! He is beautiful and healthy!!! NO PROBLEMS!! So far he is really laid back and not crying. He is nibbling at his hand and just gorgeous!! Pictures soon!! Both Mommy and Baby are great and Dad can barely contain himself!