A fresh pair of Underwear

There is really no way around it, budgeting is about as much fun as being a Lions fan. I am currently making the most money I've ever made and I still cannot just go out and buy whatever I want. Granted, for the first time in a long time all our bills are being paid, we have a good amount of groceries in the kitchen and I'm eating really well. Also, we haven't had an overdraw in our checking account for months now!! However, I guess at some point I thought it would be different. I thought, soon I will just buy what I want, when I want... boy have my priorities changed. I like to think about spending money, more than actually doing it...but it's hard to think about it when I don't even have any to spend! But this is not a huge deal... what I'm really getting at is my recent change in how I view my things.

I'm going through the strangest part of my life now where I truly am no longer a "kid" and I'm entering the world of careers, 401k's, stocks, bonds, savings, college savings and my future. Heck, I just turned 24 and I have LIFE INSURANCE!! (I am convinced that I now have a big red target on my back that says, "Kill me!! Go ahead, it's covered!!" ) Oh, sure, I'm still the biggest goofball, bad-joke cracking, face-making, name-calling, energy-wasting, strange voice making idiot that I have always been... but it's becoming different. Now, don't laugh too hard but I'm.... more mature but in only the way I could mature.

There are times now when I know what I should do versus what I want to do... but I choose to do what I should do. Slowly, my wants have been knocked down one by one until by the time I'm ready for them... I don't feel like addressing them. I'm not talking about going to work, getting up early and going to bed at a decent hour (that one I'm breaking at the moment), it's more of the little things. For me, it's not watching what I want too on TV, or taking the garbage out b/c I know She will appreciate it, playing with my daughter when I really feel like killing in COD4. I still play video games, but its about a 9:1 reading to playing ratio, I'm sure by definition I'm a video game Poser.

Most of these changes have come with being a husband, father and provider for the family. Trust me, I feel great that I am providing for my wife and daughter, but I must admit at times I wonder, where is my spending spree? It's coming, oh, its coming. My next major purchase will come as no surprise to anyone as I upgrade our TV to the latest wave of HD TVs. But I feel bad even thinking about it. Other things have taken higher priority and to be honest, it scares me at times how comfortable I am with it.

Let's just make sure one thing is straight here: I love my life. God has blessed Carrie and I with a wonderful baby girl, an amazing family and a relationship with Him that goes far beyond any materials in this world. Would I be any happier with a little extra cash and the money to buy my new TV... no. And (obviously) I know that. But that doesn't mean I don't want it. =)

Last Call
Literally this time, it's late and I'm slowing shutting down. Speaking of shutting down, I heard GM is discontinuing the Pontiac brand and possibly auctioning others off to the highest bidder. I'm not surprised, but it is strange for me to think of Pontiac's no longer being made. More importantly are the jobs being lost and the lives who are impacted by this decision.